The Art of Overextending Yourself

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Welcome to DAY 1 of the Thanksgiving Blog Series.

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Written by Prakrati Kadekar

Edited by Minna Chow and Krithika Rajesh

Designed by Parniyan Haidari

High school. It’s a place that is so exciting to a freshman, yet can be so daunting. It’s the last step you have to take before you proceed forward into adulthood. And most of the time, that means going into college.

The college admissions process can be scary, and that often means that a high schooler might have to take various extracurriculars, volunteer opportunities, and internships. A high schooler might feel desperate to fill up his resume with all his accomplishments. A high schooler might want to take every opportunity that she sees on Linkedin just to give her the edge over her competitors.

But when is this too much?

Let me share with you my personal story. When COVID-19 hit and school was over, I thought that, as a rising junior, I did not have any remarkable attributes that made me stand out. It started with an email from Fiveable, a company that helps prepare students for AP exams when they asked if I wanted to be part of their intern team this summer. I applied and got accepted as a Founding Member.

I made a Linkedin and went job hunting, looking for every opportunity people posted and applied for. I applied to countless positions.

I felt happy at first realizing that I was involved in so many activities. But then I realized how difficult it was to manage them. Rather than feeling content with the abundance of extracurriculars I had, I felt discontented with the fact I was making loose commitments that I couldn’t perform up to high standards.

My mom asked me in the middle of July: “Why are you in front of the computer all the time?”

I realized that I had said “yes” to everything. Yes to this position. Yes to that volunteering. Yes, yes, yes—all because I thought it would help me for college.

But mental health is important too. I got stressed with all these activities. I realized that I can’t say “yes” to everything. I have my own life too, I’m not a working machine. I dropped most of my commitments and focused on the activities that made me actually interested—not those just for college applications. I made sure to balance my life. I spent time with my family and friends rather than going from meeting to meeting.

If this situation sounds similar to you, you are definitely pushing yourself beyond what is healthy for you. You have to face the reality that you can only do some things.

Here are the symptoms of overextension:

• Less sleep - A lot of people stuck in this behavior sleep for fewer hours and have poor quality sleep.

• Forgetting your tasks - Often when you have too many tasks, you start forgetting to do them. To-do lists may help but you can’t keep track of all the events and obligations you have to do that day

• Repeatedly lying to yourself that you have time to do your tasks - You deny the fact that there may be less time to do your planned activities and tell yourself that you have “plenty of time” to finish up the various assignments, even though deep down you do not.

• You’re busy every minute - This is a telltale sign that you are over dedicated. You promise to do everything because you don’t want to upset anyone. But this increases your anxiety even more on top of the number of assignments you have to do.

• Lack of energy at the end of the day - You constantly worry about your to-do list or anxious about something or someone, even if it doesn’t impact you directly.

If these sound familiar to you, here are the steps you should take to stop overscheduling:

1. Acknowledge it - If you find yourself having too much on your plate, realize that it is a problem. That’s the first step for you to take: realize that you are overextending yourself. That is the only way to start combating the problem.

1. Prioritize - Sort tasks by the ones that are the most important and put aside the ones that can wait. Sometimes when you are in that frantic mode of trying to do everything, you believe your entire to-do list must be done by today. That may not be the case. Small tasks like sending a quick email or social calls can wait another day.

1. Say No - People say “yes” because they think they are obliged to do so. Realize that you are allowed to refuse! Sometimes it’s better to say “no” when you are already overwhelmed. Politely say “no” when necessary. By using that magic word, your time will start to free up and your anxiety will reduce.

1. Set aside some me-time - If you are constantly busy, you are not taking care of your personal needs. Personal time is not a luxury—it is a necessity. Mental health and emotional well-being are crucial, and that means you need to set aside some time for yourself.

1. Get quality sleep - When you lack sleep, you can’t focus. Sleep is a need for your body and you can’t ignore that. Commit to a certain bedtime. Before sleeping, spend some time winding down from your hectic day.

1. Eat your meals thoughtfully - When you have so many things to get done, simple things like mealtimes can seem forced into your schedule. You may be rushing trying to snarf down breakfast or dump your lunch down your throat. When you do this often, it could lead to health issues and it can unbalance your life. Be mindful while eating. Eat nutritious foods and if possible, surround yourself with other people. Enjoy your meals.

1. Ask for help - Everyone needs help. But people often forget to reach out to someone or they refuse to do so. Remember that there are people who can help you, even if it is by doing a small favor or project for you. You can’t do everything alone.

So, while your college applications may be demanding that you have tasks to complete and projects to finish, just remember that your personal health is more important. Overextending yourself will only make your life worse. If you follow these tips, you will feel much more at ease.